Step - By - Step
Part 2: That's why I Wear Black
"But mister," a townsman cried, "you have yet to explain why you have such a tall black hat!"
"Well now, that there is cause for a story", the sweep replied. And as he settled down to tell it, another townsman came riding up in a hurry! "Hey mister! I found him, I found him", he cried in obvious excitement. "I found Mr. Cre. O. Sote, but there is someone else there with him, and he calls himself Mr. Soot, and he's a dirty little bugger!"
So with no further ado, or whatever that word is, the man called Sweep followed the man out of town and to his home. And once there, he saw the two troublemakers Sote and Soot. They were both looking at him, knowing that this was the showdown that they have been dreading. And so, without waiting, they dashed into the home, and up into the chimney system.
Mr. Sweep, looking over the situation, saw that they were in a fireplace system called a zeroclearance. This was a metal, pre-fab unit that was nailed to the studs of the house and was extremely lightweight - which was why it was used here. They had wanted a fireplace in the corner of the house after it had been built. He looked at the firebox and saw that Soot had left his calling card - black flakes, which now coated the log set.
Without any further ado (dang-there's that word again), he removed the tarp from his handy bag of tricks, and laid it out on the floor to prevent any more soot from tracking across the floor. Careful to make certain that there were no live coals from past fires at the bottom of the firebox, he vacuumed it up, using a shop-vac, always remembering that Soot was lightweight and had a tendency to move about easily. Then he next covered the fireplace doors with some tape, since zero-clearance doors have gaps in between them, and he moved quickly to the top of the roof to the chimney top.
Once there, he removed the chimney cap and with his flashlight, saw that Mr. Cre. O. Sote was busily coating the sides of the pipe. He grabbed a round chimney brush, attached to a rod, and gently lowered it into the chimney, scrubbing the pipe as he went.
His moves were careful, as the pipe is screwed together, and he added more extension rods until he reached the bottom of the pipe. Removing the brush and rod, he once again looked down and saw that all of the creosote and soot was removed from the pipe. Then he fastened the cap back onto the top of the chimney system, and made sure that it was securely fastened, and then back into the house he went.
Removing the tape from the door, he carefully opened them, cautious of having anything enter into the room, and took his shop-vac and removed all visible remains of Mr. Cre. O. Sote and his dirty little buddy, Soot.
He removed all vestiges, (I like that word), of creosote and soot and placed them into a plastic bag and then deposited them into the trash. With a stern look at the owner he reminded him that he must do this a couple of times during each winter.
"Anytime that you bum wood, and your fire is not hot, the moisture from the wood travels up the chimney and carries with it the residue of the smoke, and coats the pipe once again. Bum your fireplace hot at least twice a day, and this will help remove any creosote from the chimney. As far as soot is concerned, this will also remove much of it as well."
"If you have a gas log set, then carefully vacuuming up soot, remove it. If it keeps coming back, then call the people who sold you your unit. Have them check the orifice size and efficiency."
Once again, a voice from the crowd that gathered around him called out - "For Pete's sake, will you please tell us why you wear that tall black hat?"
"In old England, the chimney sweep was the poorest of the poor, and they wore hand-me-downs and free clothing. These came from morticians, and so the trend remained until this day. So there is the reason."
Originally published in the Daily Courier January 20, 2000